Major Blog Change

I'm shutting down this blog. That does not mean that all my autism blogging is over. All of the content here and all future autism posts will now be found on my main website here. Make sure to check it out, as well as all the other resources on my site.

Meet Our Son

In the second episode of my autism podcast, I introduce you to our son. He has taught us much about autism and life in general. Here is a little about our story.
 

Introduction to the Autism Dad Podcast

Of all the roles I have, one of the most important is that of an autism dad. I have interviewed people about autism on my regular podcast but I have felt like there was a need to gather all my autism content into one podcast. The result is the autism dad podcast. You can listen to the first episode below, which outlines the goals for this podcast.
 

Disability and the Gospel - Review

One aspect of working through ideas about disabilities is to develop a theology of disability. The Bible has some important things to say about disabilities. But how do they fit together and what is the main message?

One of the best resources I have come across is Disability and the Gospel by Michael S. Beates. Beates comes at this topic not just as a theologian, but as a father of a daughter with a disability.

In the book, Beates works through both Old and New Testament teachings about disabilities. He also looks at ancient and modern thought on disabilities, both from a Christian and non-Christian perspective.

Beates provides a very helpful summary of where theology has interacted with disabilities. At times it has been less than helpful, but overall, there are good resources that help us to understand where disabilities fit in God's kingdom.

If you are wrestling with a theological understanding of disabilities, I highly recommend Disability and the Gospel.

Autism: Predicting Overload

Confessions of an Autism Mom

I am so thankful for my wife and the way she is able to put into words our experience as autism parents. Amanda recently wrote a post on her blog, describing exactly what I have been feeling lately.

Christmas time will always be a time of remembering for me. Our first child was due on New Years day but I had a miscarriage and it never came to be. I was quite pregnant with Logan by the time my due date for our first child came. We light a candle and whisper love to our Kennedy as each new year begins. I had hopes and dreams for this child I was carrying, this promise and gift from God. Promises and gifts come in all shapes and sizes, Logan is no different.

You can read the full post here. I encourage you to check some of her other posts. She is a much better blogger than I am.

Dear Future Mom

A heartwarming message from 15 people with Down syndrome to a future mom.

 

Siblings With Disabilities

One of the aspects of disabilities that people miss is that there are often siblings. Such siblings are very special people. I encourage you to watch this video that shares the thoughts of some siblings of children with disabilities.

 
Siblings from Kristen Huys on Vimeo.

On Being an Accessible Church

In the province that I live in, it is the law that all public buildings, including churches, are accessible to those with disabilities. We shouldn't need the law to make us accessible. What people sometimes forget, is that being accessible means more than just working with physical disabilities.

It is likely that if someone in a wheelchair wanted to attend your church, you would make sure that there was an elevator or a ramp. But what about those with developmental disabilities or mental illness, are you accessible for them?

One way to make your services accessible to those who experience anxiety is to provide audio or video versions of the messages on your church website. Obviously we want people to attend in in person. But there are times that anxiety levels are too high to sit in pews and be surrounded by people. By having sermons on the website, people can still benefit from the teaching.

What other ways can you make your church accessible for people of all needs?

He Came Down

If you are having trouble getting into the Christmas spirit, you need to watch this video. It is about a nativity play put on by children with Down Syndrome.

Bullying Also Happens in the Church

People with disabilities are too often the target for bullying. Those who have communication or cognitive challenges are particularly vulnerable as they may have difficulty reporting the bullying.

Ideally, the church would be a safe place away from bullying for people of all abilities. Unfortunately, we do not live in an ideal world. People feel insecure and insignificant and so they attempt to compensate by treating others badly. It shouldn't happen but it does.

Do you have people with disabilities in your church?

Be active and not reactive. Instead of waiting to respond to a bullying incident, begin the conversations now. Do teaching with your staff and volunteers. Have the discussion with your youth group and Sunday school. Work hard to make churches a safe place for all people.

What is Autism Spectrum Disorder?

Nothing is Happening Tomorrow

Have you ever had someone start to say something, in the sense of revealing information, and you would do anything to stop them? We have many times.

When our two children with autism lived with us, both had sleep issues but in different ways. Abby was just messed up when it came to sleep. It was not unusual for her to get up between 1 and 3 am.

Logan generally slept well, getting up around 7 am. Unless someone said something.

If in the evening, we or someone else, mentioned that something would happen the next day, there would be a problem.

"Logan, Grandma is coming for a visit tomorrow."

"Logan, tomorrow is a day off school."

"Logan, Abby's birthday is tomorrow."

If anything was going to happen the next day, Logan would get up extremely early. Sometimes midnight and sometimes he wouldn't sleep at all.

We came up with the policy that NOTHING was going to happen tomorrow, no matter what was really going to happen. It was easier to train ourselves than others. It is natural to share the excitement of what was coming. Sometimes the event was so minor, that it did not seem to be a big deal. But we had to cut off people and re-educate people about what was allowed to be said.

Anticipation was something too disruptive to Logan's sleep.

And that is a glimpse of autism.

What is Scripting?

What is an Autistic Meltdown?

Autism Spectrum Disorder Infographic

by J.L.

From Visually.

A Theology of Autism

This is a lecture by theologian John Swinton that was given at the Summer Institute on Theology and Disability in 2011.

 

The Church and People With Mild Autism

I think that there has been some improvement in the church's willingness to embrace and minister to people with autism and their families. But often the people with autism that the church has in mind are those on the severe end of the spectrum.

What about those with mild autism?

These are the people who have what was once called Asperger's Syndrome but is now just mild autism. You may not even know that they have autism. These are people that have intense interests that they want to talk about all the time. These are the people who struggle to know what is socially appropriate. You likely think of them as quirky rather than autistic.

There is a certain amount of compassion for those who are on the severe end of the autism spectrum. But those who are more mild do not necessarily benefit from this compassion. They may be easily left out and isolated.

Remember that autism does not always look the same. Have the same love for that teenager who always talks about airplanes as you do for the child who is nonverbal.

An Autistic Evening

One of the purposes of this blog is to increase awareness about autism. As much as I love to share the positive experiences, the reality is that there are some difficult times. I have no desire to use this as a platform for complaining, but I believe sharing the reality of autism will help people to understand what parents go through.

We just made a major change in how our visits with Logan and Abby go (they live in a group home 1.5 hours away). Previously, the group home brought them to our house Friday nights and I brought them back Saturday mornings.

Starting today, I went early in the morning to get them, with the plan that the group home would come and pick them up in the evening. That is two major changes for Logan and Abby. They are no longer staying overnight and I am now bringing them here instead of taking them back.

They actually did very well. Our visit was fine, with lots of laughter. Even when the van pulled up to get them, Logan and Abby got there stuff together and went out to the vehicle. Everything was going smoothly.

Then the van door got stuck.

Abby, a couple of minutes after a meltdown.

The worker tried to compensate by putting Logan in a different seat than normal. That was one too many changes for Abby (she was already stretched pretty bad). Abby got upset, which got Logan upset, which made Abby more upset and on it went. There was a lot of crying and shouting. They were both in meltdown mode and they were feeding off each other.

There was no getting them both in the van. The only thing we could do was for me to take Abby into the backyard and jump with her on the trampoline, while Amanda got Logan into the van. They then took off, while I got Abby into our car with the promise of a stop at Tim Horton's. Then off we went for my second round-trip today.

This is what autism is like. Changes in routine can easily lead to meltdowns. People with autism can feed off each other when upset.

Amanda and I were able to work as a team to deal with the situation. Not every parent is able to do this.

Again, none of this is meant as complaining. This is simply the life of autism parents. But of you want to support families such as ours, you need to know what life looks like.

How to Talk to a Person With Autism Who Seems to Ignore You

If you tried to talk to our son, you might find that he would avoid eye contact and probably would hum while you spoke. I suspect that our son is not unique in this. In fact, there is a young man in our church who is very similar. What should you do if you find yourself in such a situation? Here are some pointers.

• Don't force them to give you eye contact. Parents might do this on occasion, but there usually is a reason why they are avoiding eye contact. You might find that if you don't push the issue that they might give you more eye contact as they get to know you more.
• Don't raise your voice. Unless there are additional hearing deficits, yelling will make them less likely to listen to you.
• Just because they seem to be ignoring you, don't assume that they are not listening.
• Talk to the person with autism and not the person with them. Address them directly.
• If they don't answer a question, don't keep repeating it.
• Look at them directly and smile.
• Don't speak to them like they are a little child (unless they are a little child). Many people with autism who are nonverbal have normal or above normal intelligence. Do not judge their intellect by their communication difficulties.
• Don't give up, no matter how much they may seem to ignore you. Greet them with the same enthusiasm every time you see them. It really matters.